Man With Huge Bulge Busted at Border With Endangered Birds in His Pants

I peck your pardon?! A person is staring down 20 years within the slammer after a suspiciously enormous bulge in his pants — which he claimed was his mighty man-meat — turned out to be … TWO. ACTUAL. BIRDS. Sure, that is actual life!

Jesse Agus Martinez, 35, acquired stopped by CBP on the Mexico-U.S. border on October 23 after guards clocked a very questionable bulge in his trousers … and after they checked it out, they discovered two little brown luggage stuffed in his underwear — every holding a uncommon orange-fronted parakeet.

The parakeets — that are critically endangered, in keeping with the Worldwide Union for the Conservation of Nature — have been respiratory however closely sedated, in keeping with the U.S. Legal professional’s Workplace in Southern California.

Martinez instructed brokers he stuffed the birds in his pants as a result of he didn’t have the paperwork to deliver them into the U.S. … and stated he deliberate to maintain them in a shoebox in his van.

He’s now been hit with a federal smuggling cost … and if he’s discovered responsible, he could possibly be slapped with a $250K positive and as much as 20 years in jail.