A handsome, nearly nude man stood in my bedroom, on the verge of removing his underwear. ‘Would you like me to make you a burger?’ he asked. I stared, confused, as we prepared for intimacy.
The Surprising Reveal
‘No thanks, I’m not hungry,’ I replied. He laughed and pointed downward. Gasping, I saw the largest penis I’d ever encountered. I wondered nervously how it would fit.
Then came the real shock. He squished his penis between his testicles, twisted them at a 90-degree angle, and declared, ‘Ta-da!’ His genitals now resembled a burger—a feat from his unique performance art.
Our Flirty Beginnings
I first met Jamie in 2006 at a bar in southwest London. He worked there between acting gigs. Chatting over drinks, I admired his brown eyes and toned arms. ‘Do you perform Shakespeare?’ I asked drunkenly.
‘I have,’ he said casually. He flirted shamelessly, winking and complimenting my looks each time he served me. For four Saturdays, I returned with friends, hoping for more.
On the last night, he invited me to stay after closing. Alone in the empty bar, he poured wine, confessed his interest, and kissed me passionately. I invited him home.
Discovering His Career
In my bedroom, under moonlight, he stripped and showcased his impressive size. Then he performed the burger trick. ‘I’m a penis puppeteer,’ he announced proudly.
He showed videos on his phone: nude performers contorting genitals into shapes like the Eiffel Tower or Loch Ness Monster in a comedic live show called Puppetry of the Penis. Originating at an Australian comedy festival in the late 1990s, it toured globally, including a UK version starring Jamie.
‘Want free tickets?’ he offered. The reveal gave me pause, but his charm won out. We proceeded carefully—his size required gentleness. The experience wasn’t intense but remained enjoyable and respectful.
Fun Times and Farewell
We met a few more times for casual encounters. He demonstrated tricks like the Eiffel Tower and E.T., always leaving me laughing. Though fun, his profession ruled out anything serious—no way to introduce a penis puppeteer to family.
We parted as friends. He proved sensitive despite his bold career. I sometimes wonder about his life now but prefer partners without such acrobatic talents. *Name changed.
