The opposite day in an effort to dissociate from the stress of the vacations, I used to be making brownies for my children and I went to seize my hand mixer. I purchased this low-cost, dependable one again once I nonetheless was dwelling in my bachelorette pad in Los Feliz about 10 years in the past. I noticed in a short time that I not had that trusty mixer.
It’s the identical realization I had once I purchased a brand new pair of loafers and wanted a shoehorn. And once I wanted a serving tray to carry chips and salsa out to our new patio. And when a recipe for chimichurri sauce referred to as for a mortar and pestle.
I as soon as had all these little objects in my life — the issues you purchase as soon as and use often, however that someway make your life a lot simpler. I had amassed them over the 20 years I lived with roommates, after which alone, after which with my husband, and now with my household. However on the night time of Jan. 7, 2025, we left our home behind with all this stuff nonetheless in it, together with numerous irreplaceable objects, considering we’d return. That subsequent morning, nonetheless, like lots of our buddies and neighbors in Altadena, we misplaced our residence to the Eaton fireplace. We additionally misplaced the mixer and the shoehorn, these serving trays and my mortar and pestle.
So now what? When it’s important to begin from scratch there are such a lot of new questions. While you exchange your wardrobe, do you modify the way you costume? Who’s Sona 2.0? Does she splurge on designer clothes? And may I begin buying now for the home we’re planning on rebuilding? And talking of constructing a home, how precisely do you do this? How does insurance coverage work? Do I’ve to save lots of each receipt?
It’s exhausting and for the primary few weeks I might stroll round clothes shops in a daze, utterly overwhelmed. My good friend Erica needed to come assist me store and held my hand as I attempted to navigate the arduous strategy of changing a wardrobe. I might attempt on denims and whereas I misplaced concentrate on the duty at hand by remembering how we misplaced the ceramic imprints of my boys’ toddler arms and toes, I might hear Erica’s voice gently break my painful trance with a reassuring “they give the impression of being good.” And extra importantly, she was the one who discovered so many shops had been providing reductions to individuals who had been impacted by the fires. However how do you carry that up organically?
“Did you discover all the pieces OK?” the cashier would ask.
“Sure I did, thanks,” I might reply.
Silence. Then, after too lengthy, I might simply blurt out, “Do you provide reductions for fireplace victims?”
The reply was usually sure however generally no. Solutions at all times had been delivered with a slight head tilt — the one you do whenever you really feel dangerous for somebody, as if altering the angle of the way you have a look at them will make them really feel much less unhappy.
I’ve labored for Conan O’Brien for about 17 years — the primary 12 as his assistant and the final seven because the cohost on his podcast “Conan O’Brien Wants a Buddy” (with some overlap in between). I had this leather-based jacket I used to put on so usually that the liner was falling aside and the fabric on the elbows had worn skinny. However it match me like a glove. It was one of many many issues in Conan’s arsenal that he’d make enjoyable of, joking that it was my solely jacket since I wore it so usually and that I regarded like Dr. Zaius from “Planet of the Apes.”
When Conan discovered that I’d misplaced that jacket within the fireplace, he insisted on shopping for me a alternative. I bear in mind sending him a photograph of me within the retailer sporting the brand new jacket, beaming like I had resurrected one thing from the lifeless. Conan, who was dangerously near dropping his own residence within the Palisades fireplace, replied that seeing me in it once more made him comfortable. He then instantly made one other joke about how I regarded like one in all Janet Jackson’s backup dancers. It was a tiny step towards some form of normalcy, even when the liner of the jacket was intact and the elbows felt stiff.
There are issues I by no means will be capable of exchange, like my customized signed images from Kobe Bryant, or the portray I purchased in Cuba once I traveled there to shoot one in all Conan’s specials, or the classic Disneyland Autopia poster I purchased from a wierd man in Lengthy Seaside, or the bee pin my grandma at all times wore. Or my wedding ceremony costume. Or my children’ first Halloween costumes. Or the big bin crammed with my childhood recollections.
It’s been a yr for the reason that fireplace and life continues because it had earlier than. My children go to the identical college in Pasadena that they went to earlier than the fires. My husband and I nonetheless go to the identical jobs. We see our identical buddies. We have fun birthdays and journey. We take our canine on lengthy walks across the neighborhood. We eat dinner as a household.
However we now have an empty lot we nonetheless pay a mortgage on. We meet usually with an architect to hash out the structure of our new residence. We get bids from contractors. We discuss to our insurance coverage adjuster repeatedly. We take into consideration cash much more. I nonetheless cry generally.
The one sensible factor I did on the night of Jan. 7 was take a video of all of the contents of my residence. I bear in mind going by means of each room, with my children usually within the background, unknowingly taking a video that will turn into a time capsule of our life earlier than the fireplace. A yr later we’re nonetheless rebuilding that life, changing the objects we misplaced with new variations, some higher and a few not. The reductions within the shops have ended and the nationwide consideration on our tragedy is basically gone, however these of us who went by means of all that loss nonetheless are going by means of it, like after we’re baking brownies and understand the hand mixer we had for years burned in a horrible fireplace.
However as I inform my children, who at all times ask concerning the “outdated home,” house is the place we’re all collectively, even when it’s nonetheless a piece in progress.
Sona Movsesian is cohost of the podcast “Conan O’Brien Wants a Buddy” and creator of the New York Instances bestseller “The World’s Worst Assistant.” Her second e book “The World’s Worst Mother” comes out later this yr
