Breaking Through Isolation
Chinyere Ubani recalls the emotional breakthrough that came after years of silent struggle. Her 13-year-old son, Ugochukwu, who has autism, faced bullying at school and difficulty regulating his emotions. Six years after immigrating from Nigeria to Canada, Ubani searched for support but found little. At a gathering for parents of children with autism, she hesitated to share her challenges. As she prepared to leave, the event organizer noticed her distress and asked if she was alright. Ubani broke down in tears.
“I had so many pent-up emotions,” she said. “I didn’t go there to cry on her shoulders. It was as if a tap just opened.”
This moment led Ubani to the “supermoms,” a supportive network for Black mothers raising children with special needs. She describes finding comfort in connecting with someone who shares her background and experiences. “Someone that looks like you, that’s on that same journey with you — it is easier for that person to relate to your story,” Ubani explained.
Building a Community
The supermoms group organizes regular meetings where members discuss challenges, exchange resources, and celebrate their children’s milestones. Organizer Adenike Adesina faced similar hurdles after moving from Nigeria in 2018 with her son, Mogboluwaga, who is on the autism spectrum. She anticipated better access to services in Canada but encountered long wait times and societal judgment.
“I still see people of my skin colour hiding these children,” Adesina noted. “They don’t want people to know they have children on the spectrum.”
In 2023, Adesina started a contact list of mothers from her church community who had children with special needs. She affectionately titled them “supermoms,” and the name endured. Most members hail from Nigeria, where cultural beliefs often frame autism as a curse or punishment, leading families to conceal their children. Adesina once shared these views herself, questioning, “Did I do something? Did I offend anybody or did I commit a crime for me to reap this?”
Over time, she embraced her role and now focuses on empowering other Black parents to take pride in their children. “I celebrate him a lot,” she said of her son, whom she calls her best friend.
Navigating Cultural Barriers
Growing the group required overcoming initial resistance rooted in stigma and unfamiliarity with autism. “It wasn’t easy at the beginning,” Adesina admitted. The network has expanded into a WhatsApp group of over 60 women, serving as a space for sharing advice, encouraging messages via GIFs, and guidance on Canadian systems like healthcare and education.
Members occasionally meet face-to-face for conversations, beauty sessions, or playdates for their children. Titilope Kazeem-Oshinubi, who joined two years ago, credits the group with transforming her outlook. When her daughter Erife was diagnosed with autism as a toddler, Kazeem-Oshinubi was unfamiliar with the condition. She pursued a social work degree to better support her now 7-year-old.
“It’s a community that you can always go to be yourself,” she said. “A non-judgmental zone.”
Despite progress, stigma persists. Kazeem-Oshinubi notes friends outside the group who avoid Erife, viewing her as disruptive. “I can’t even take my child to their house,” she shared. Within the supermoms, however, she feels supported and less isolated.
Reducing Stigma One Story at a Time
The group actively works to dismantle shame, though some parents remain hesitant to join. “Some moms … are not ready to accept [their child has] autism,” Kazeem-Oshinubi observed. “But we’re doing our best for the ones that are ready.”
Through shared stories and mutual encouragement, the supermoms foster pride and resilience, helping Black families navigate the complexities of raising children with autism in a new country.
