Dave Portnoy and Rob Gronkowski brought the laughs and the heat on Saturday’s “Big Noon Kickoff” as they unveiled their “Top 10 Names in College Football” list.
From clever wordplay to pure chaos, the duo turned a simple segment into a comedy show—proving once again that when Portnoy and Gronk team up, it’s anything but ordinary.
Here’s a look at their list, counting down from 10-to-1:
Rob Gronkowski & Dave Portnoy react to TOP 10 NAMES in College Football 🤣
10. Legend Journey, DL, Cal
Gronkowski: “He journeyed from Arlington, Texas, to Cal. I feel like he will have a 12-year NFL career with 12 different teams, and everyone will love him in the locker room.”
9. Da’Realyst Clark, WR, Kent State
Gronkowski: “He might be “Da’Realyst” but he also might be “Da’Smallest” at 150 pounds.”
Portnoy: Yeah. I wonder what happens if you’re not an athlete and you walk around an office building with a name like Da’Realyst.”
T-7. D-Icey Hopkins, S, Georgia State and Decoldest Crawford, WR, Butler CC
Gronkowski: “Decoldest is De Coldest, and he signed an NIL deal with an air conditioning unit in 2022.”
Portnoy: “You gotta get the diamond company with that. You gotta go diamonds over AC.”
6. Memorable Factor, LB, Duke
Gronkowski: “He’s from London, England, but he hasn’t been too memorable on the field this year: Zero snaps.”
Portnoy: “Yeah, you gotta be better if you’ve got the name “Memorable.”
5. King Large, OL, SMU
Gronkowski: “He lives up to this name. He’s listed at 6-foot-4, 316 pounds.”
T-3. Grant Beerman, LB, Illinois and Rocky Beers, TE, Colorado State
Gronkowski: “Grant, unfortunately he’s not old enough to drink legally, he’s only 19. But, Rocky is.”
Portnoy: “You were never drinking before you were 21?”
2. Dude Person, Central Arkansas, DB
Portnoy: “This guy shouldn’t be No. 2. Dude Person? That shouldn’t be in the top 10.”
1. Mark Gronowski, QB, Iowa
Gronkowski: “This name is almost perfect. … I gotta do some investigating.”
Portnoy: “He’s like one of the 18 Gronkowski brothers, so yeah, I don’t hate that.”
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