In the 21st century, flirting is no longer just something you do at a bar or club after a few drinks to build up your confidence. In fact, more often than not, it’s a text- or photo-based exchange conducted between smartphones, with fingers doing the flirting that tongues used to manage. Getting exact data on how many people are digitizing their flirtations isn’t easy, but for one example, consider the DirtySnapchat subreddit: it boasts over one million members and nearly 130,000 weekly visitors.
Of course, as sexting became more popular, we gained exponentially more ways to engage in it, from naughty websites to flirty dating apps to clever in-between options, where a suggestive text message or a racy photo are all part of the fun. It’s also becoming increasingly common for services to offer a hybrid feature set, so that what begins as a fun text-based conversation and escalates to photo exchanges might finish off with a live video chat.
Today we’re comparing two of the most popular options for sexting: AdultFriendFinder and Snapchat. Both platforms offer a bevy of fun features to help you get your flirt on through texts, photos and videos, and both have some clever, built-in features to help you do it safely and discreetly.
Hookup apps for everyone
AdultFriendFinder
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readers’ pick for casual connections
Tinder
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top pick for finding hookups
Hinge
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popular choice for regular meetups
Credit: AdultFriendFinder
The benefits of AdultFriendFinder for sexting
Finding a partner
The big benefit of AdultFriendFinder is that it has a built-in community of like-minded people all looking for text-based flirtation. Unlike with Snapchat, which is a much more general, multi-purpose platform, AFF users have signed up with the express intent of having some “adult” fun, and their profiles usually reflect this, with wild photos and very explicit lists of kinks, turn-ons and interests.
In addition to the individual profiles, AFF also hosts communities and groups, often based around specific kinks or a love of erotic storytelling, and these public-facing communities are easy to find and engage with.
If your sexting journey is a solo one to start off, AFF will help you find a partner in no time, whereas finding a like-minded chat partner through Snapchat alone is no easy task.
Identity verification
A major strength of AdultFriendFinder is that it offers a robust identity verification service called ConfirmID, and while it isn’t mandatory, you can opt not to talk to anyone who hasn’t undergone the process. To get verified, users have to offer both a scan of a piece of government-issued identification and agree to have their face scanned via webcam to confirm that the person doing the scan is the same person featured in the ID document.
Once you’re verified, a blue checkmark will appear on your profile photo, ensuring others know you’re verified. If you want to only talk to other verified users, stick to profiles that feature that bleu checkmark and you’re golden.
Is Adult Friend Finder safe to use? What a cybersecurity expert says.
On Snapchat, by contrast, verification is as simple as confirming that the email associated with the account really belongs to you, which might be an effective deterrent against bots but doesn’t do anything against catfishing scams.
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Sex Academy
What if you’re new to sexting and want to pick up some tips or learn some of the lingo before you dive in? An often-overlooked aspect of the AdultFriendFinder universe is what is known as their “sex academy,” the constellation of resources, including learning materials and erotic stories, that can help you acquaint yourself with the ins and outs of sexting before you ever speak to a real partner.
This is an unbelievably useful tool because, over time, sexters evolved their own shorthand language — not to mention suggestive emoji use! — to get their points across faster and not break the sexual tension with long, delayed texting.
The benefits of Snapchat for sexting
Free to use
Snapchat is free to download and free to use, and although there is a premium subscription option (Snapchat+), it’s not really necessary or even particularly beneficial when it comes to sexting. Contrast this with AdultFriendFinder, which restricts one-on-one conversations to paying members, and you can easily see why Snapchat gets the edge here.
Because it’s free to use, it’s also much more widely adopted than AFF, which means it’s extremely common for people to exchange their Snapchat IDs, or even for singles to include their Snapchat IDs in their dating profiles.
Disappearing messages
Another huge benefit of Snapchat is that, by design, all messages sent through the service are time-restricted. Everything you write or send will eventually disappear, not only from the chat history but from Snapchat’s servers.
But some caveats do need to be mentioned here:
“Disappearing” does not mean “never stored.”
Anything sent digitally can potentially persist through screenshots, screen recording, device backups, or hacked accounts.
Even if Snapchat deletes its copy, the recipient may still have one.
So from a privacy perspective, the safest assumption is: if you send a nude on any platform, there is always some possibility it could continue to exist somewhere beyond your control.
A history of nudes, from sculptures to Snapchat
That means if you’re shy, or concerned about your privacy, or just feel more comfortable being naughty when you have the peace of mind of knowing there won’t be a (digital) paper trail, Snapchat is probably the most secure option out there.
That having been said, Snapchat’s official Community Guidelines take a strong stand against “sharing, promoting, or distributing sexually explicit content and conduct,” so while such behaviors are actively encouraged on AdultFriendFinder, they are actively discouraged on Snapchat. The truth, though, is that, in practice, private consensual exchanges between adults are extremely common on the app and are generally not proactively policed unless:
Screenshot protection
One of the perils of sexting, especially if you’re doing it with strangers or people you’ve only recently met, is that exchanging nude photos or videos can be risky — bad actors can save or share your photos without your consent, or even use them to blackmail you, a practice known as “sextortion.”
But if you’re concerned about someone secretly screenshotting or even using a screen recording tool to record your naughty sessions, Snapchat offers a robust notification software that will alert you right away if someone takes a screenshot or starts a screen recording, and it’s comprehensive enough to even pick up on many third-party tools that can do these things.
It isn’t perfect, so you do still need to exercise caution when you’re being frisky with people you don’t fully know or trust. At a minimum, you should verify that the person you’re chatting with is who they claim to be, preferably over a video call, and you should never share sexually explicit content with someone you don’t know and trust, especially if those images or videos can be used to identify you.
The bottom line? Both AFF and Snapchat offer fun platforms for engaging in some sexy texting, but the former is probably a more attractive option if you don’t already have a sexting partner and the latter is a fantastic platform for getting more intimate with someone you already know.
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