Sex positions vary widely in appeal, yet one stands out as a common dislike for both men and women: the 69 position. The primary issue revolves around multitasking, making it challenging to fully enjoy giving or receiving pleasure simultaneously.
Men’s Perspectives on the 69 Position
Men frequently express frustration with the 69, preferring to focus on one role at a time. A 28-year-old man explained, ‘I love giving. I love receiving. 69 makes it hard for me to enjoy either part. I don’t like someone’s crotch in my face when I’m receiving… and the BJ is really overwhelming for me when I’m trying to give pleasure.’
Another compared it to mutual massages, noting, ‘Feels like for the relaxation to be fully enjoyed, one person should go at a time.’ Many report difficulty reaching climax or helping their partner do so, favoring turn-taking instead. One added, ‘The main problem with this position is that you are both givers and takers at the same time. As a giver it’s hard to focus, and as a taker you can’t relax. It’s one of the worst positions ever.’
Women’s Views Echo Similar Concerns
Women share the same multitasking complaints. One stated, ‘I don’t enjoy oral unless I can really concentrate on every subtle thing that he does and how good it feels. Otherwise it just feels like someone tickling me in an uncomfortable way. And when I have a d**k in my face, I am pretty unaware of anything going on with the rest of my body.’
A study of over 2,000 women by Seduce AI revealed that 29% rank 69 as their least favorite position. Participants highlighted divided attention, which hinders focus on personal pleasure and leads to frustration. Another woman noted, ‘It’s supposed to be double fun, but I can’t focus on any of the two and as a result neither of the two is fun.’ Some expressed surprise that anyone enjoys it.
Additional Challenges for Women
Beyond multitasking, women often feel self-conscious with their bodies exposed so closely. One admitted, ‘There’s nothing appealing about it, and I’d feel self-conscious in that position.’ Another pointed to discomfort, saying, ‘It’s a really awkward blowjob angle and his nose ends up too close to my butthole for comfort.’
Expert Insights on the 69
Sexologist and author of Kink Curious, Gigi Engle, observes that opinions on 69 divide sharply—people either love it or hate it. ‘In my experience, most people don’t like it,’ she says. The position demands significant effort, especially for oral giving, which can exhaust the jaw and scatter focus.
Engle notes it suits those who prioritize mutual pleasure over eye contact or climax. ‘No sex position is for everyone, but 69-ing can be really fun, the focus just needs to be less about climaxing and more about experiencing the pleasure you’re giving each other,’ she advises. Preferences differ widely, as one writer recently shared: ‘These days, 69 is definitely our ‘go to’ position for passion. We always finish together and my orgasms are so much more intense (and frequent).’
Ultimately, personal tastes rule in the bedroom—different strokes for different folks.
