The UMass payroll is a joke – a really costly joke for the taxpayers.
Earlier than moving into among the open and gross hackerama, I wish to point out what might be probably the most ZooMass job title of the yr, at ZooMass Boston.
Meet Calvin Hill (no, not the working again). This Calvin Hill is “Vice Chancellor for Inclusive Excellence and Belonging.”
Pay: $227,532 a yr.
Belonging! Who knew that was a job description? Solely at UMass. And he’s doing double responsibility – each Inclusive Excellence and Belonging.
That vice chancellor of belonging title could also be an much more basic ZooMass job classification than final yr’s winner, with Carolyn Brownawell.
She is, or was, the “Chief Folks Technique Officer & deputy govt vice chancellor.”
Massive job, I suppose, as a result of she made $453,966.45. However final yr she tumbled to $147,836.50, and it appears to be like like she’s gone.
Oh no! What is going to UMass do and not using a Chief Folks Technique Officer?
The truth that Carolyn was the “chief” signifies that there might have been at the least one Deputy Folks Technique Officer, so let’s hope that “they” can take up the slack within the Folks Technique racket.
UMass is a hack’s dream. Imagine it or not, it’s a good softer gig than being a decide, and in the event you don’t imagine me, simply ask David Lowy.
Lowy is a hack’s hack, previously of the Supreme Judicial Courtroom. He’s married to a different member of the Hack Corridor of Fame, Ginny Buckingham. She was working Massport in 2001 when Muslim terrorists used business airliners flying out of Logan Airport to kill 3,000 Individuals on 9/11.
Good job, Ginny!
Then her hubby, one other Beacon Hill payroll patriot, obtained the do-nothing SJC job, the place he was making $226,187 in 2023.
Just one downside: the pension. Lowy wanted these three highest years, as they are saying, to rake within the actually massive bucks.
It is a custom at UMass. Keep in mind Billy Bulger, the Corrupt Midget, brother of Democrat serial killer Whitey Bulger? He parlayed the presidency of the state Senate into the identical job at UMass.
Since his “retirement” in 2003, Bulger has been gathering a kiss within the mail of first $202,000 a yr, after which, because the loss of life of his spouse in 2020, $274,000 a yr.
Hacks examine these numbers. Hey, they don’t have anything else to do all day lengthy. They certain ain’t working. Am I proper Justice Lowy?
Now, regardless of his impeccable hack pedigree, Lowy couldn’t hope to develop into president of ZooMass. That sinecure is owned by Marty Meehan, the previous Congressman. He made $879,453.66 final yr and couldn’t be pried out with the Jaws of Life.
However wait, what about… Basic Counsel?
That’s one of many nice hack comfort prizes at UMass.
Keep in mind Gerry Leone, the previous DA of Marty Meehan’s outdated house county of Middlesex. He determined he’d stop and go into non-public follow and make the large bucks, however someway, his dream did not bear fruit.
Quickly Leone was crawling again to the hackerama, the place his outdated county crony Meehan made him… Basic Counsel. Leone obtained in his Three Highest Years, together with in 2023 a complete of $371,421.05.
In 2024, he pocketed one other $32,209.30 and one other $93,761.84 in “depart/purchase again.” In different phrases, Gerry Leone did even higher in hack payouts than LaMar Cook dinner did final yr.
Now Leone has a pension — $200,201.52 a yr.
So guess who determined to, uh, retire from the SJC in 2024. You solely get one guess.
The brand new Basic Counsel of ZooMass is lifelong payroll patriot David Lowy.
One other nationwide search!
In 2024, in first (partial) yr in his new no-heavy-lifting sinecure, Lowy pocketed $351,050.
Final yr, Mr. Ginny Buckingham’s pay skyrocketed to $449,772 a yr. And behind that comes the (tax-free) pension, plus I imagine a hack judicial pension, which in accordance with the state Comptroller’s information, Lowy doesn’t appear to have began gathering but.
So 80% of $450,000 will likely be… not dangerous! Simply suppose how a lot the Buckinghams can be pocketing if solely the Muslims had determined to fly out of another US airport again in 2001.
This after all is simply the tip of the payroll-patriot iceberg not simply at ZooMass, however in larger training typically.
Do you know that UMass has a “head soccer coach” who made $1,406,376.56 final yr. He’s not to be confused with the opposite “head soccer coach” who made $705,439.54 in 2025.
Because the outdated athletic saying goes, it’s not the excessive value of excellence that’s ruining sports activities, it’s the excessive value of mediocrity. Or within the case of UMass, under mediocrity.
A number of extra from the Forgotten However Not Gone brigade of public larger ed.
John Quinn, 18-year hack state rep, failed candidate for Bristol County sheriff. Now “Assistant Dean of Public Curiosity Legislation Applications and Exterior Relations” on the ridiculous regulation college in Bristol County.
Wow! He made $267,950.
Then there are the Vinnys.
Vinny Pedone was once a state rep in Worcester. Then he died and went to heaven. At age 58, he now makes $251,950 a yr in some phony-baloney job at “Mass State Universities Council of Presidents.”
The opposite Vinny is Vinny DeMacedo, a Republican from Plymouth who obtained into politics as a result of it was quite a bit simpler (and higher paying) than pumping fuel for a dwelling.
Now he makes $196,300 a yr at Bridgewater State School, er, College. (All of them develop into universities as a result of that means all of the hacks may give themselves much more pay raises.)
That’s it for right now. Someday quickly, I wish to delve into all of the titles they bestow on each other at UMass.
As an illustration, I’ve already discovered two cases the place the “affiliate vice chancellor” is making greater than the “vice chancellor.” Why? And does an “govt vice chancellor” outrank a “deputy govt vice chancellor,” to not point out a “vice chancellor?”
And the place precisely does a “senior affiliate vice chancellor” rank on the depth chart?
One other thriller: what the hell is a provost?
And why does ZooMass needn’t solely provosts, but in addition vice provosts, affiliate vice provosts, assistant vice provosts and senior vice provosts?
I don’t ask for a lot in relation to a do-nothing hack UMass job. Simply make me the affiliate deputy assistant senior vice provost for… belonging.
You don’t have any concept how a lot inclusive excellence I’ll deliver to my new belonging place. After just a few months, I’ll be prepared for change Carolyn as Chief Folks Technique Officer. You understand why I’ll try this job so properly at UMass?
It’s as a result of I’m a folks particular person.
(Order Howie’s new e-book, “Mass Corruption, Vol. 1: The Cops,” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/retailer.)
