Rep. John Garden joins illustrious lineup of liquored lawmakers

What this state wants is a few commonsense drunk-driving-state-rep laws to get these rattling dipso Democrats off the street as soon as and for all.

Everybody is aware of that if the State Home had an precise liquor license, it could have lengthy since padlocked by the vice squad as a public nuisance.

Crime is rampant among the many denizens of that notorious constructing. Consider all of the names — the three audio system, Henriquez, Nangle, Flim Flam Flanagan (nonetheless solely alleged), and so forth. and so forth.

However the most typical offense on Beacon Hill continues to be driving beneath the affect, although most of them are by no means charged by their native cops as a result of… skilled courtesy.

Let’s take into account the OUI crime wave, to see if we are able to decide any patterns.

First, in all stops like this, cops at all times ask you to undergo a Breathalyzer check. Only a few persons are silly sufficient to conform to this. I may uncover just one state rep in latest reminiscence dumb sufficient to blow into the balloon.

That may be Rep. David LeBoeuf of Worcester. When arrested on the Burgin Parkway in Quincy in 2022 together with his entrance proper tire gone, the Democrat dunce gladly took the check. He first blew a 0.329 after which a 0.317 — 4 instances the authorized restrict.

Why would anybody, not to mention an elected official, do one thing that silly? The reply is apparent. LeBoeuf is a Harvard man. Have you ever ever met a Harvard man who knew tips on how to pour you-know-what out of a boot, even when the directions have been written on the heel?

Talking of which, urine is one other recurring theme on this Democrat crime wave. Final week it was Rep. John “Get Off My” Garden of Watertown.

On the Nashua Avenue Jail, he nearly had an accident, and later “officers noticed that the suspect could have urinated on himself as there have been moist spots on his shirt and pants.”

Then there was Rep. Paul “Kujo” Kujawski. Twenty years in the past, he was Home Chairman of Coverage and Steering, though he wasn’t too good at steering. He was stopped in Sturbridge on Route 20 and charged with, amongst different issues, open and gross lewdness.

The story was, Kujo urinated on one of many arresting officer’s boots. Years later, one in all his political opponents printed a flier with a crimson fireplace hydrant. The caption:

“Even canine know the place it’s acceptable to alleviate themselves. However State Rep. Paul Kujawski, nicely….”

Final yr, he and a three-time state rep drunk driver by the identify of Mark Carron, who even did a six-month stretch, similar to Canton selectmen Jailbird Chris Albert, endorsed a fellow Democrat for state rep. I assumed I ought to name Kujo to inquire simply how thirsty he and Carron needed to have been to endorse this man.

Kujo instantly introduced up that long-ago lewdness cost.

“I by no means pissed on that state trooper’s boot,” he yelled at me. “Depart me the bleep alone.”

One other recurring theme in these crimes is that the state reps usually really feel obligated to determine themselves as statesmen. To be anticipated, I suppose. However then they usually ship comedian strains. Again to Kujo. On the night he ingested his unhealthy ice dice, the cops requested him, “Do you wish to go to the hospital.”

“I could have,” he replied.

In 2022, the cops in Quincy requested LeBoeuf the place he’d been coming from.

“Massachusetts,” he answered.

The observe up query was, “The place do you assume you’re?” It was a puzzler.

“Newton?” he requested.

The cops nonetheless put the state reps via the sidewalk Olympics. Garden failed spectacularly final week. It’s onerous to do the one-leg stand whenever you’re legless.

However one check appears to have fallen by the wayside for legislators in recent times — the mental-acuity exams. The final ones appear to have taken place with Sen. Michael Brady, D-Joe Angelo’s Café, in Weymouth in 2018.

On the age of 57, Brady was requested to recite the alphabet.

“BRADY slurred the letters collectively to get to H, I, J, repeated the letters H, I, J, gave (cops) a glance of confusion, then acknowledged Z… In my view BRADY failed this check.”

Then the Weymouth cops requested the solon to depend backwards from 60 to 40.

“BRADY once more began out slurring the numbers and counted from 60 to 50 however saved repeating numbers within the 40’s. BRADY then continued counting into the 30’s earlier than he was lastly stopped… In my view BRADY failed this check.”

The cops had stopped Sen. Brady after he pulled into the car parking zone of a liquor retailer at 2:30 a.m. I suppose it was an instinctual factor, just like the swallows returning to Capistrano each spring.

However Democrat reps appear to have a giant drawback with time. You realize what they are saying. It’s at all times 5 o’clock someplace.

As soon as, then-Rep. Brian Dempsey bought pulled over at 2:30. The cops determined to ask him a trick query. What time is it?

“Midnight?” stated Mr. Chairman.

That night time, Dempsey claimed he’d solely been imbibing cough syrup and codeine-fortified Tylenol. That is one other widespread theme amongst reps — the night time Kujo’s crapulous crony Carron was lugged snoozing at 2 a.m. in a working automobile in Auburn, police found an open container of amber-colored fluid.

The cops requested the statesman what it was.

“Iced latte,” he stated.

One factor all of them know to do, although, is dummy up. There’s a state regulation {that a} drunkard has to inform the place he had his final drink. Invariably, all state reps reply “Personal residence.” Garden did it simply final week. You by no means rat out your bartender. It’s skilled courtesy.

Why do they maintain behaving this manner? There’s a state rep from Braintree named Mark Cusack. He’s been concerned in numerous murky incidents over time. Simply ask state auditor Diana DiZoglio. For some time his native nickname was “Repo.” Go determine.

Cusack used to run up large bar tabs in any respect the native buckets of blood in Norfolk County — “conferences with constituents,” as he at all times described his weekend pub crawls. So I pulled his latest campaign-expense studies to see how he’s copping on this post-Garden period.

Seems Cusack continues to be an everyday barfly at Beacon Hill joints like Carrie Nation’s and the twenty first Modification (which was additionally Kujo’s favourite spot again within the day).

In April, Cusack ran up tabs of $835 on the twenty first Modification… however he additionally took 5 Ubers.

In Might, Cusack spent $335 at Carrie Nation’s, however referred to as Uber twice.

Final month, he dropped one other $145 on the twenty first Modification, however grabbed three Ubers and two Lyfts.

The lesson right here is, if a honky-tonk hero (or ought to I say zero?) like Mark Cusack can determine tips on how to keep out of hassle, why can’t the remainder of these lovable losers and no-account boozers?

Anybody who may give me the reply to that query will win a sleeve of Rep. LeBoeuf’s favourite foreign-load nips — Dr. McGillicuddy’s Intense Wild Grape.

What else would you count on? He’s a Harvard man in spite of everything.

Initially Revealed: July 26, 2025 at 5:01 PM EDT