Massachusetts hacks forgot tips on how to do nepotism proper

Can’t anyone right here play this recreation, the sport in query being nepotism?

It ought to be the best rip-off within the hackerama — getting members of the family the identical type of phony-baloney, six-figure, no-heavy-lifting public-sector job you’ve, behind which comes the 80 p.c pension.

However the hacks appear to be dropping this most simple ability — or at the least the power to maintain their household and buddies and never get caught.

Try these two headlines from the previous few days:

“Ex-UMass official fined $10K for hiring brother.”

“Ex-judge fined $4K for appointing father to supervise house sale.”

Essentially the most chilling a part of these headlines? The phrase “ex.” Which means the hack has suffered a destiny worse than dying, specifically, being separated from the general public trough.

As everyone knows, it’s nearly unimaginable to get fired from a hack job in Massachusetts, even in the event you’re caught red-handed. However actually, straight hiring your personal brother, or father?

That’s simply insupportable sloppiness.

Has everybody forgotten Rule 1 of the hackerama? You don’t rent your personal family members, interval.

What you do is, you get one other payroll patriot to rent your father/brother/girlfriend and many others. Then in return, you rent their important different. You scratch my again…

As James Michael Curley used to say to his son Frank, when explaining to him why crooked individuals like themselves ought to all the time use money and by no means, ever have a checking account:

“I shouldn’t even have to elucidate this to you…”

But right here we’re. I’ve to elucidate all of it, once more.

Let’s start with former Probate Decide Lawrence Military, Jr. He was one in every of many tragically horrible judicial appointees of ex-Gov. Charlie Baker. When Military was nominated in 2022, the same old nameless letters had been despatched to the Governor’s Council.

The “Involved Attorneys of Worcester County” alleged that at his listening to, Military had made “materials misrepresentations and lies.” The Council didn’t care as a result of it’s, and has all the time been, because the aforementioned Gov. Curley as soon as mentioned, “a hock store.”

As quickly as he received onto the bench, Decide Military was presiding over a divorce case and needed to choose a Particular Grasp to deal with the sale of the marital house. He omitted the record of eligible legal professionals and made a really particular appointment to the $450-an-hour plum job.

Decide Lawrence F. Military Jr. appointed as Particular Grasp a lawyer by the identify of Lawrence F. Military Sr.

It was a nationwide search! And now Junior is an ex-judge.

Subsequent, let’s go to UMass, the place one other “ex” marks the spot. This time it’s an ex-associate provost named Heather Sharpes-Smith.

Notice that hyphenated final identify — as soon as upon a time, that alone could be sufficient to determine your wokeness and thus invulnerability from any type of disciplinary motion, not to mention having to work, at ZooMass.

However these days, it takes greater than a mere hyphenated final identify to determine your exalted standing on the totem pole of DEI intersectionality. Not checking practically sufficient woke bins, Sharpes-Smith was making a mere $154,531.41 a 12 months and going nowhere quick in hackademia.

Suppose Elizabeth Warren earlier than she turned a faux Indian.

The massive-money jobs at UMass now go to individuals with first names like “Nefertiti,” who makes $443,456 a 12 months allotting “fairness.” Learning the ZooMass payroll, Heather will need to have despaired that she would ever earn as a lot as, say, Kumble Subbaswamy ($443,456 final 12 months) or Murugappan Muthukumar ($355,399).

So Ms. Heather Hyphenated Final Title determined to accept the type of crumbs accessible to these in her downtrodden class.

She requested if she may rent a “man” for a short lived job. The “man” was her brother, and I’ll guess that like Sis, he doesn’t have a very woke DEI identify.

Amazingly, regardless of his lack of contemporary hackademic credentials, Heather’s brother received the job — one other nationwide search! Will need to have been a part of the UMass affirmative-action program. Then he received employed to a everlasting job for $68,000, which at UMass is nothing, completely nothing.

However she’s now an ex-associate provost.

It’s not solely the unprotected lessons which have misplaced the power to correctly work the nepotism rackets. Tania Fernandes Anderson appeared to have every little thing going for her — first unlawful alien African Muslim on welfare married to a first-degree assassin ever elected to the Boston Metropolis Council.

However she wasn’t content material to slurp on the trough. Tania needed to lick the plate. She employed her sister and her brother for big-money Metropolis Corridor hack sinecures and was fined $15,000 by the State Ethics Fee.

She went loopy. Didn’t the honkies know who she was?

“What the bleep do I’ve to do on this bleepin’ Council,” she screamed with cameras rolling, “with the intention to get respect as a black lady?”

This was earlier than she took the $7,000 in money kickbacks in a rest room at Metropolis Corridor… from one other relative. Now she’s going to jail — have to be racism, proper?

Why didn’t Tania simply get one in every of her fellow Council wokesters to rent her shiftless, entitled kin? After which vice versa.

There are different methods to run this type of grift. How about these public-private partnerships? No stinkin’ State Ethics Fee (as toothless as it’s) wanting over your shoulder then.